“Work Up the Nerve”

CHARLIE: Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it!
Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it!

At summer camp, when I was thirteen,
there was Caroline Brown in the cut-off jeans.
I’d never really liked a girl before,
but I liked her a lot.

I thought about kissing her, but never followed through.
Then we both got assigned to same canoe.
The canoe tipped over and we swam to the shore,
and we found a grassy spot.

And she smiled and laughed and she gave me a hug
and we stood there for a minute to rest.
My mind was racing and my heart was threatening
to leap six feet out of my chest.
My brain said, “Do it,” but my body just froze
Seconds ticked by almost achingly slow
And I was just about to do it, or at least I think so...
when she let go.

And I’ve been kicking myself every day since then.
I swore I’d never miss another chance like that again.
I gotta go out there and stop him,
gotta get what I deserve.
I gotta work up the nerve.
Yeah, I gotta work up the nerve!

CHARLIE: Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it!
Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it!

Then when I was sixteen, just a few years past,
there was Adrian Keyes in biology class.
I stuttered and choked around most girls,
But with her I wasn’t shy.

One way while we picked at a dead frog’s arm,
Allen Leibowitz pulled the fire alarm.
We slipped away as the class unfurled,
to a coffee shop nearby.

And she smiled and laughed and took hold of my hand,
and I did everything I could to stay calm.
I tried desperately to think of what to say in response
as the sweat poured out of my palms.
My brain said, “Kiss her!”, but my body said “No!”
I fumbled with her latte and my cappuccino.
And I was just about to do it, or at least I think so...
when she let go.

And I’ve been kicking myself every day since then.
I swore I’d never miss another chance like that again.
I gotta go out there and stop him,
stay the course and never swerve.
I gotta work up the nerve.
Yeah, I gotta work up the nerve!

CHARLIE: Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it!
Damn it, damn it, GAAAAH!

And when I got here, well, I still felt stuck,
and I cursed myself and what I called luck.
And when he showed up, I did whatever he said,
‘cause I thought it was fate.

And now he’s with her, doing God knows what,
with that smug little smirk and that fucking strut.
This has to end; it ends tonight.
No more debate.

No one else but me would let to this happen to them.
No one else but me would get stuck in this shit.
Anyone but me would be out that door
without even having to think about it.

Anyone but me would go tell her truth.
Anyone but me would be on the offense.
Anyone but me would go kick his ass,
no matter how much the resemblance!

‘Cause I’ve been kicking myself every day for years,
making vow after meaningless vow.
Swearing that I’d never miss a chance again,
yet I’m standing here missing one now.

I gotta go out there and stop him,
no more hiding in reserve;
Gotta go out there and stop him,
staying straight at every curve;
Gotta go out there and stop him,
with vitality and verve.
I gotta work up the nerve.
I gotta work up the nerve!
Yeah, I gotta work up the—
Gotta work up the—

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