Charlie Greengould Meets Himself
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“What Went Down / Be Like That”

LILA:
I was dancing at the party with a bunch of Theta bros.
It was all like, “Whoa, hot guy alert.”
Tom came up and grinned and for a second there I froze.
You could see his six-pack through his shirt!

The next thing that I knew he was behind me on the floor.
How these things get started, I don’t know.
We kissed a bit and then we were careening out the door,
down the stairs and cross the quad below.

And I thought,
Oh, what am I gonna do?
I thought,
Oh, what am I gonna do?

Look, I kind of like him,
I want more than just a one-night thing,
but I’m not sure there’s any chance
of that actually happening.
I’m freaking out, I’m going nuts,
but also I’m just so excited,
‘cause I’ve wanted Tom for weeks,
but I thought it was unrequited.

Sure, I know it’s dumb to get
all worried; it’s ridiculous
to keep obsessing ‘bout it,
and you’ probably getting sick of this.
I think that it went well though,
I was trying hard to play it cautious,
though it’s hard to tell
‘cause I was super drunk and kind of nauseous.

CHARLIE:
Go to a party, dance with a girl, lean in for a kiss.
It shouldn’t be complicated, but somehow something is amiss.
Other people seem to know how to go for what they want.
Other guys possess some kind of thing which I do not.

Swallow this tequila and you’re automatically making out.
Say the right things and dress the right way and carry the right kind of clout.
Tom goes up to Lila, snaps his fingers and—Kazam!
And I just stand here listening like the idiot I am.

Oh, what am I gonna do?
Oh, what am I gonna do?

Everyone finds it effortless;
Everyone’s so nonchalant.
I wish that I could be like that
more than anything else that I want.

Lila gets the guy she wants;
The guys all get the girls.
And I wish that I could be like that,
more than anything else in the world!

LILA:
Well, we made it to his room, although we both could barely walk,
falling on his bed in disarray.
Right as I took off my shirt, we heard his roommate knock.
Tom was like, “Dude, not right now, okay?”

We didn’t go that far; stayed pretty low down on the scale.
Just another drunken quid pro quo.
Anyways, I don’t think that you need much more detail.
Everybody knows how these things go.

But now it’s,
Oh, what am I gonna do?
I’m thinking,
Oh, what am I gonna do?

Look, I kind of like him,
I want more than just a one-night thing,
but I’m not sure there’s any chance
of that actually happening.
I’m freaking out, I’m going nuts,
but also I’m just so excited,
‘cause I’ve wanted Tom for weeks,
but I thought it was unrequited.

Sure, I know it’s dumb to get
all worried; it’s ridiculous
to keep obsessing ‘bout it,
and you’re probably getting sick of this.
I think that it went well though,
I was trying hard to play it cautious,
though it’s hard to tell
‘cause I was super drunk and kind of nauseous.

CHARLIE:
Go to a party, talk to a girl... take her home.
It shouldn’t be complicated, so why do I end up alone?
Other people play by all these rules that go unstated.
Other people learned this stuff, but I’m uneducated.

Dance like no one’s watching. Be yourself. Do what you feel.
It all makes sense inside my head, but I just can’t make it real.
Lila gets obsessed with Tom, although they’ve barely spoken,
and I just stand here staring, knowing something’s badly broken.

LILA:
Oh, what am I gonna do?
Oh, what am I gonna do?

Look, I kind of like him,
I want more than just a one-night thing,
but I’m not sure there’s any chance
of that actually happening.
I’m freaking out, I’m going nuts,
but also I’m just so excited,
‘cause I’ve wanted Tom for weeks,
but I thought it was unrequited.

Sure, I know it’s dumb to get
all worried; it’s ridiculous
to keep obsessing ‘bout it,
and you’re probably getting sick of this.
I think that it went well though,
I was trying hard to play it cautious,
though it’s hard to tell
‘cause I was super drunk...
CHARLIE (simultaneously):
Oh, what am I gonna do?
Oh, what am I gonna do?

I want her more than anything;
I only wish she knew.
I wish I could just kiss her,
but I don’t know what to do.

She talks and talks and talks at me,
but she just looks right through.
Lila, I go to sleep at night
dreaming about you!

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